First Person: Soccer helps me feel like myself, far from home

When I left my hometown in Mexico a year and a half ago for Canada, I knew life would be different. But I didn’t expect how hard it would be to feel connected to who I used to be.

I’d moved to Canada to chase big dreams, but as time passed, I felt parts of myself slipping away. Here, I’m doing all the things I dreamed of: working a job I love, paying my own bills and learning how to handle life on my own. On the outside, I’m proud of who I’m becoming because I keep growing as a person. But inside, I sometimes feel like I’ve lost pieces of who I was.

For me, soccer has become the thing that keeps me connected to home. Soccer has always been a big part of my life, and playing it here makes me feel close to Mexico. Back in my hometown, soccer looked like getting together with friends, feeling excited as we put on the jerseys of our favorite teams and players.

We’d feel like professional athletes, showing up to have fun and believing we were the main characters in the world. Before every game, I’d get chills lacing up my cleats, like a kid opening a brand-new toy.

Here in Canada, those feelings haven’t changed. When I step onto a field in Ottawa, the weather is colder, and the faces are different, but the excitement is the same. Before a game, I sit on the bench tying my cleats, already imagining how it’ll go. I think about the moment the ball reaches my feet, that split second when everything else fades away, and I’m just playing.

Even thousands of miles from home, soccer still gives me chills. It’s the bridge that connects Mexico-me with the person I’m becoming here.

In Canada, it’s easy to get swept up in the newness of it all. When I met Rebeca Feria, the leader of the Latino Club at Algonquin College, her words helped me make sense of what I’d been feeling.

“Just because you’re in a different country doesn’t mean you have to become a different person and forget where you came from,” she said. The Latino Club at Algonquin College exists to help people like me keep our roots alive, to remind us that we don’t have to leave behind the things that matter just because we’re in a new place.

Feria also talked about how some people lose touch with their roots, like it’s just part of “moving on.”

“It’s disheartening to see people ignore the importance of staying connected to something that was once so meaningful to them,” she said. Those words hit home because, in many ways, I was one of those people. I’d been so focused on adjusting to my new life that I didn’t even realize how far I’d drifted from who I used to be.

Talking with others who felt the same way, like Meryem Hasdou, an international student at Algonquin College, gave me even more perspective.

“Arriving to a new country almost makes you feel completely lost with yourself, which can be terrifying at the beginning,” Hasdou said. “When you find something that connects you to your actual home, there’s a sense of relief and happiness with yourself.”

Her experience mirrored my own, reminding me that I wasn’t alone in this feeling and that many other international students go through the same.

For a long time, I thought that moving forward meant letting go of everything that came before. But I’m learning that you never have to give up parts of yourself to grow.

Soccer is that constant thread for me, reminding me of where I come from and why that matters. Now, each time I lace up my cleats and put on my jersey, I’m playing for more than just the game. I’m playing to keep Mexico close to me, to hold on to the memories that shaped me, even as I keep building a new life here.

Like me, many people are out here trying to find their way while holding on to pieces of their past. For anyone trying to figure out who they are after leaving home, I hope my story reminds them that growth and staying connected can go hand in hand. You don’t have to lose your roots to find yourself.

And for me, that’s what the soccer field, the excitement before playing and the touches with the ball are all about.