First Person: There is nothing wrong with being a crazy cat lady

Most nights, I struggle to sleep. I often have too many thoughts running through my brain. My cat, Garfield, could always sense my stress. He would come and lay with me in bed, right on my chest, and purr. His purrs would calm me down instantly and I could finally sleep.

My family got Garfield when I was eight. We named him Garfield despite him not looking like the cartoon cat. He was grey with the brightest green eyes.

Around the time I was moving out of my parent’s place, five years ago, Garfield was getting bullied by one of our other cats. So, I took him with me. During my first month in Ottawa, Garfield and I relied on one another. He learned to trust me, which was shocking as he didn’t like people.

My parents, however, often questioned my bond with Garfield. They didn’t understand it. “He’s just a cat,” my mom would say to me whenever I’d fret over him. But to me, Garfield wasn’t just a cat, he was family.

Garfield and I got a roommate in 2021. During this time we adopted a kitten, an orange tabby named Cucumber. Then in 2023, we adopted Strawberry, a beautiful fluffy cat.

In February of this year, Garfield passed away. I knew it was coming, he had a lot of health issues, but I was still devastated.

Through Garfield, and later Cucumber and Strawberry, I learned how much I loved cats. I love how different their personalities can be, I love how playful and silly they can be, I love their purrs. So, after Garfield died, I knew there was room in my heart for more cats.

I adopted Joel in March, Hen in May and Paulo in June. Now I have five cats, and to many, I am a “crazy cat lady.”

The term “crazy cat lady” is often used to degrade women who are single and have cats instead of children.

Even highly successful women, such as Kamala Harris, aren’t immune to the insult. Recently, a clip from 2021 resurfaced, where JD Vance, Donald Trump’s vice-presidential nominee, called Harris a “cat lady,” implying she can’t make good decisions for the United States because she doesn’t have any biological children.

In my case, I’m 23 and I have never been in a relationship, nor do I care for one. I don’t want children. If I were to grow old surrounded by cats, I would die happy.

However, I didn’t always feel this way. When I was 19, I’d often wonder to myself, “Is there something wrong with me? Was there some aspect of myself that made me unlovable?”

I’d try to meet people through dating apps. I would match with someone, we would talk and then I would get ghosted. Eventually, I realized I wasn’t sad to be ghosted, I was relieved. I stopped using the apps.

With age comes wisdom, and this wisdom has provided me with the knowledge that I like being single. Maybe the only thing “wrong” with me is that I prefer cats over people.

The crazy cat lady label isn’t a one size fits all stereotype.

Fiona Pinard, 40, lives in Ottawa with her four cats and works for the federal government. Pinard, is perfectly okay with the crazy cat lady label. She has even found herself a cat-loving man.

“It’s definitely been a challenge to date as guys think ‘crazy cat lady,’” said Pinard. “Many times I thought of just giving up on dating and being a cat lady spinster, which I was honestly okay with.”

Despite feeling okay with her life, Pinard still found love, but she didn’t erase a part of herself for it.

“I decided to give Tinder another try and found my boyfriend, Patrick,” said Pinard. “He loves the kitty cats and they love him.”

Pinard loves her cats as if they were her own children.

“I miss them when I’m away on trips. They mean a lot to me in that they make me laugh, they comfort me when I’m sick or sad,” said Pinard. “I’m blessed to have them, to love them and give them food, shelter and safety. They’re like my kids.”

Magan Carty, 32, is an Algonquin College alumni. Carty has two cats, Juno and Lenny, who were adopted from a rescue. The two cats, especially Lenny, have some significant trauma.

“It really taught me, because he (Lenny) wasn’t the cat I expected I would get, but it makes me love him even more,” said Carty.

Carty has moved all over Canada with their two cats. Carty said their love for moving makes cats the perfect companions.

“We’re so close, and we’re this package deal,” said Carty. “If they were kids, or a partner, if you want to move across the country for a job, that’s a big ask.”

Carty said home is where the cats are, and I agree. Being with my cats feels like home. No matter where I am, I know I’ll be okay if I have my cats with me.