Comedian Gilbert Gottfried is coming to the Algonquin Commons Theatre Sept. 23, to do stand-up.

The Times was able to talk to Gottfried Sept. 18, to ask him 10 serious philosophical questions.

Algonquin Times: What was it like doing stand-up at 15?

Gottfried: I wasn’t particularly frightened.  I was stupid enough to go on stage in front of people until I made it. I mostly did imitations like Humphrey Bogart and Boris Karloff, so even as a kid my act was dated.

Algonquin Times: When did you realize you were funny?

Gottfried: I think I still haven’t realized it and the audience hasn’t either. I guess when I was a kid I was or thought I was.

Algonquin Times: What do you find funny?

Gottfried:  I don’t know. The more you do comedy the less things you find funny.

Algonquin Times: You seem to laugh on the Comedy Central Roasts. Why?

Gottfried: You can go crazy on those. It’s a good excuse to hurt other people; it’s justified.

Algonquin Times: If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other is it still called a dog pile?

Gottfried: No it’s called a lot of pussy.

Algonquin Times: If milk goes bad when it’s not refrigerated. Why doesn’t it go bad in the cow?

Gottfried: Well you’d have to stick your head up a cow’s ass to be sure.

Algonquin Times: My class does a lot of karaoke, what’s your go to karaoke song?

Gottfried: Maybe the Battle Hymn of the Republic.

Algonquin Times: What was your favourite scene from Pee-wee Herman?

Gottfried: The porn movie theatre scene.

Algonquin Times: How did you end up performing at Algonquin?

Gottfried: When I answer the phone I start with, “I’ll take it.”

Algonquin Times: Other comedians like Jerry Seinfeld won’t do college shows. Why do you think that is?

Gottfried: Well I guess next week I’ll find out.

You can hear more of Gottfried’s commentary on his podcast: Gilbert Gottfried’s Amazing Colossal Podcast.